Dealing with rejection
By Aneesa Moidoo, Psychologist
“After talking to friends, coworkers, or even about my relationships, there are times when I feel sad and occasionally disappointed. Sometimes I become angry and reply negatively.”
I understand that rejection sensitivity can be a very painful and distressing experience.
It can be difficult to cope with the intense emotions that come with feeling rejected, and it can lead to negative thoughts and behaviors about yourself and others.
You may feel it like a direct attack on your character on your self-worth.
For example, if a coworker says that you need to improve your time management skills, you might take it as a personal insult and start yelling at them.
Or, if a romantic partner says that they don’t like the way you cooked dinner, you might withdraw from them and refuse to talk to them.
This is a typical experience for many people and can be influenced by a number of factors, such as previous instances of criticism or rejection where you become emotionally charged; low self-esteem where you perceive the feedback as personal attacks which can cause negative emotional reactions; and personal expectations where you may be highly critical of yourself and feedback is felt as your failure, leading to a sense of inadequacy.
Being understanding and nice to yourself is one of the most crucial things. Keep in mind that rejection is a part of everyone’s life.
It does not imply that you are wrong in any way. It’s just one aspect of what it means to be human.
Therefore, instead of thinking of the worst possible ideas, try to find a different explanation for the behavior.
Self-regulation, which is observing and managing your emotional and behavioral responses, maybe the key to managing rejection sensitivity.
For example, it could be helpful to pause and consider the situation rather than reacting right away when you notice a potential indicator of rejection.
If you find that you are taking minor criticisms personally or overreacting to them, try to challenge your negative thoughts.
Ask yourself if these thoughts are realistic.
Is the person really trying to hurt you? Or are they simply trying to give you some constructive feedback?
It can also be helpful to talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else who you feel comfortable talking to.
Talking about your feelings can help you to process them and to feel less alone.
Finally, remember that you are worthy of love and respect.
You don’t need to be perfect to be loved.
Just be yourself. And if someone rejects you, that’s their loss.
There are plenty of other people who will appreciate you for who you are.
I hope this helps. Please know that I am here for you if you need anything.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Daily Tribune