Kiss

“A man who kisses his wife goodbye before leaving for work receives a bigger pay cheque”, read an article in today’s newspaper. And it very clearly mentioned “His Wife”.

My dear male colleagues, this is not for you. Remember, you are always in “Queue”, for your promotion and your pay increases by just 3% of your Basic Pay every year, irrespective of whether you kiss your wife or other’s wife. 

Now my male friends in the private sector, all this while I thought you had to show your capabilities (which never mattered), play dirty politics and lost your so-called promotion to females of any statistics. Now things are pretty simple, just a kiss will get back all that you missed. 

All those guys, who have decided to remain Single forever and live happily ever after, this is a big jolt to your decision. You have to re-think your option for a bigger pay cheque. It shows that, forget family, relatives and society, even Corporates do not want to see you happy. 

Now let’s imagine a guy by any name, whose only routine is to get up, read the newspaper, eat and rush to office, suddenly starts kissing his wife before leaving for office, how would her reaction be? Will she accept the peck which you term as kiss in all its fullness and love? No, she will try to read more to this new adventure of yours, because for her, every gesture of yours has an underlying meaning. A man, after the initial frenzy and thrill of physical union in marital life, settles to a more robotic form. He has programmed his head to just finding few targets, which he blissfully explores and off to the other side, snoring his heart out. So any change in your behaviour from the routine is definitely going to put you in trouble. She will either accuse you of tasting the elixir of life in the wee hours of morning or even go to the extent of telling that you are having an affair with a colleague and this new routine is “just a trailer” for heating up things in office. So guys “Any new movement”, at your risk.

Forget all this, I wonder, how the corporate office is going to know whether you kissed your wife before leaving for office. Big wonder, please explain. But if this report is to be taken seriously, I am sure Facebook will soon add a new readymade Current Status,

“Leaving from Home to Office. Kissing wifey goodbye. Muaaaaaaaaaah”